Page:Life of the honourable Col. James Gardiner (1).pdf/10

 his extreme amazement, there was before him, as it were suspended in the air, a visible representation of the Lord Jesus Christ upon the cross, surrounded with a glory; and was impressed as if a voice, or something equivalent to a voice, had come to him, and to this effect: “O sinner, did I suffer this for thee, and are these the returns?” But whether this were an audible voice, or only a strong impression on his mind equally striking, he did not seem confident, tho’ he judged it to be the former: Struck with so amazing a phænomenon, there remained hardly any life in him, so that he sunk down in his arm-chair in which he sat, and continued (he knew not exactly how long) insensible, and, when he opened his eyes, saw nothing more than usual.

It may be easily supposed that he was in no condition to make any observation upon the time in which he had remained insensible: nor did he, throughout all the remainder of the night, once recollect that criminal assignation which had before engrossed all his thoughts. He arose in a tumult of passions not to be conceived, and waited to and fro in his chamber, till he was ready to drop down, in unutterable astonishment and agony of heart; appearing to himself the vilest of monsters in the creation of God, who had, all his life time, been crucifying Christ afresh by his sins, and now saw, as he assuredly believed, by a miraculous vision, the horror of what he had done. With this was connected such a view, both of the majesty and goodness of God, as caused him to loathe and abhor himself, to “repent” as "in dust and ashes.” He immediately gave judgment against himself that he was worthy of eternal damnation: was astonished, that he had not been immediately struck dead in the midst of his wickedness; and (which deserves particular remark) tho’ he assuredly believed that he should ere long, be in hell, and settled it as a point with himself for some months, that the wisdom and justice of God did most necessarily require that such an enormous sinner should be made an example of everlasting vengeance, and a spectacle as such, both