Page:Life of William Shelburne (vol 1).djvu/179

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"—I have slept since, and though I see the usage I meet with and ever shall see it in the same light, (1) I am inclined to a very different conclusion than ours of yesterday. I impart it to you and to nobody else except Lady Caroline, and I write it thus, that you may put your thoughts in the margin; and I am far from having decided anything.

"(1) If you did not, the world certainly would the moment they see what is to follow. You may dissemble with yourself, you will not impose on them. You might have compounded for a Peerage for your place at any time. What have you then for your great and late services?
 * "It is very unpleasant, after all that has happened, to go away out of humour. (2)
 * "(2) Are they now in humour? Could they be so wanting in the knowledge of common civility to act as they have if they were in humour?
 * "Dissembled satisfaction is better than dissatisfaction, (3) which it would be against my whole scheme of life to take any revenge of. I can undoubtedly keep my place, but they will be much out of
 * "(3) These are both painful; if there is any difference, perhaps the latter is less so to an honest mind than the former. Character or outward appearance will not admit of your seeming to be pleased with what ought to displease. It will be construed as a want of penetration to discover, or a want of steadiness or prudence to suffer it. It need not be resented, because you keep in a situation to resent.
 * humour, (4) and the memory of what vexes will be much more lasting than that of what once pleased them. On the other hand, common and easy civility will follow the accommodating them, and being quite out of the World. If I keep my place and remain a Commoner there will be disguising the discontent there will be on each side.
 * "(4) True, what then? How will this hurt you? Is it sure they will be in humour if you leave it? The pleasing part is already forgot, or they would not do as they do. What you are wished to do will be no more or longer remembered than what you have done. It would be really more convenient to your affairs (and, in truth, to the King's too), and more consistent with appearances abroad. What are the advantages on the other
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 * humour, (4) and the memory of what vexes will be much more lasting than that of what once pleased them. On the other hand, common and easy civility will follow the accommodating them, and being quite out of the World. If I keep my place and remain a Commoner there will be disguising the discontent there will be on each side.
 * "(4) True, what then? How will this hurt you? Is it sure they will be in humour if you leave it? The pleasing part is already forgot, or they would not do as they do. What you are wished to do will be no more or longer remembered than what you have done. It would be really more convenient to your affairs (and, in truth, to the King's too), and more consistent with appearances abroad. What are the advantages on the other
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