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A bonnet-laird in the vicinity of Glasgow, who given to indulge too freely in ardent spirits, e at last to the resolution of eschewing the evil, becoming a member of the Temperance Society, with this purpose he went to Glasgow, and inquiry of a friend where he should enrol his name, m just resolved,’ he said, ‘to drap the whisky tegither, and tak’ naething stronger than water.' His friend, who was a wag, informed him that there are several Temperance Societies in town, but the of one, and the one which he would advise him ennter, was The Glasgow Water Company. Bedirected to the office of that Company, the following dialogue took place:

'I wish, gentlemen, to become a member of your society.’

'You wish to take a share in our company?’

Indeed do I, sirs; for I think there’s naething but water aftera’.’

'To be sure, it is essential to life. The gentleman who disposes of shares will be here presently a can wait.’

'Oh, I can wait brawly. And is there mony in Glasgow friendly to your Society!’

'Why, we have to fight against a good deal of addiction, as you may have heard,’

'That’s a pity. It wad save mony a sair head