Page:Levenson - Butterfly Man.djvu/176

174 Why, love, do I frown When your 'no' Tells me so— That our love must die?"

"Here's the chorus," Howard said.

I pretend You and I share the days So I can bear the days When I'm alone. I pretend I will find new joys in you; You'll let no other poison you, Make you his own. This bitterness I feel Is better far than not to know That love is real, That's why today I've got to know Just how you feel. I can't pretend You are no longer part of me Here in the heart of me The ache won't end— So I pretend."

Ken applauded. He poured another glass of the bubbling wine. "You are frank," he remarked.

"Why not?" Howard said. He returned to his chair. "There is no barrier between us, Ken. You erected one. You were a coward."

"I was a coward, but I'm not one any longer," Ken insisted. "You know, I've always let you lead me. You were the worldly one. You've been to Paris and Oxford and what-not. I've just knocked around the States. I don't