Page:Letters to Squire Pedant in the East.pdf/54

SQUIRE PEDANT.

47 However, since our consession in the manse of the amical cauponator on the nundinal occasion, I had an inenarrable propendency for your sodality; and your recent epistolizing effectuated a bannition of all equilibration from my lacerated petto.

Although I am an agamist, I am no misogamist. In verity, you were not ignote to me prior to my vision of you at our primal adventine gemote. Your catagraph, your epistolary chirography, your neologisms and diorisms, the scribatious and sapiential aspects of your epistolography, had already premonstrated to me that you are no agrammatist, but a sapient philomath, and thus from the very necessitude of the case, I cherished a pre-existimation for you. In my cogitations upon the habilitations of him who is to be my future marital co-mate, I formed the illation, that he must possess the sequacious denotements.

And primarily: He must be no teague. He must be a franklin, but not an amnicolist. His won may be agrestical, but must have a roborous contignation, glabrous contabulation, and multitudinous fenestral apertures - it must be impervious to all perflations; well camerated with a balneary adjoined, and environed by an ample ruderation covered with scobiform arenaceous matter.

The housal furniment must be of medium preciosity; and the environs of the byres must exuberate in pinionists, porcine, vaccine, vituline and ovine quadrupeds.

His corporeal structure must not be too procere, nor too obese; not too rotund nor too angular - he must be equicrural and not claudicant, and at least, possess a moiety of usual formosity. He must be deft in his habiliments - keep his labial surface mundified from all nicotian succulence; and sedulously evitate all manducation, and fumigation, and nasal inhalation, in pulverous form, of the noxious plantage. He must es-