Page:Letters to Squire Pedant in the East.pdf/51

44 LETTERS TO of this aporon, induced upon me the most tabefying anorexy. But having a prevision that the templar's debonnairity to her was rather impermanent, I brought him into proximity with one of those papilionaceous and linguacious citesses, which effected an asportation of all his antecedaneous comity to Miss Amenity. Having segregated her from the macaroni, I dispatched the sequacious epistle to her:

Suavityville, June 10th, 1844.

Debonnair and aleger Miss, - Desiderating not to be ambagious in the exordial part of this epistle, and waving all polylogy, I will announce to you that I have a proclivity to assume the marital position; and that from our precedaneous and primal tete a tete interlocution, I have delapsed into a dilection which elicited this epistolography to you, and extorted the illation that you are the entity in consortion with whom, the suavities and amaritudes of my subastral vitality might be felicitously sustained; ergo, the optation to impart to you an orthology of the requisite assuetudes and habilitations of her in whose sodality, I am to protract my subcelestial career to the time of my obit from this asperous and subdolous megacosm.

And primally: Her physical systasis must be staminal and sane. She must be of more than medial procerity and of symmetrical rotundity -- not too osseous, nor too obese – her physiognomy must be as bonny and nitid as Phosphor herself – her articulation as euphonious as that of the rossignol, her ambulations perk and facile.

She must never use fucus, nor have such a crispation of her crinose filaments as to resemble the spiral flexures of the caudal extremities of a porcine quadruped - must not prink, nor envelop herself in sericious and scarlatinous habiliments, except on ecclesiastic,