Page:Letters to Squire Pedant in the East.pdf/32

SQUIRE PEDANT. 25 His countenance was saturnine; his aspect juvenile; his corporeity gracile and gracilient; his nasal protrusion possessed singular tenuity and aduncity, and cacuminated astoundingly. His theme was esperance. His exordium was tranquil and somewhat didactic. But in a brevity of time he became stentorophonic, and spumous at his oral aperture; his sputations became frequent, and his palpibral organs gained indescribable celerity. Obstupefaction seized his sectators in view of his supposed polymathy. But his eclaircissement of the subject was cryptic and catachrestical. His ambilogy, altiloquence and magniloquence exsuscitated my irrision. The eristical part of his homily was fraught with alogies and paralogies, and furnished an apodixis of his insipience in honorable polemics. Towards dissentients, he evinced such discourtesy and displacency, as exacerbated my interior nature.

When his course was zetetic, he propounded the most extraneous interrogations, and his responsions thereto were totally irrelevant. In his vociferation, there was occasionally a subitaneous dysphony, seldom euphony, but the most cruciating cacophany.

Notwithstanding his bombilation, he could not secure the auscultation of his audients. In verity, he possessed no habilitation for his function, and as to his supernal amandation, he labored under an entire hallucination. His hierology had already transcended compendiosity, and yet he appended a long peroration. In this, he primarily inveighed against the pyrrhonism that is becoming so temerarious in this age; and after frowning it down by the torvity of his visage, he entered upon an allocution to his sectators, in which he exprobrated their attrition and their want of genuflection in their obtestations. He vituperated their habitual stultiloquence, and mutual obtrectations; and by protracted tautophonies, insisted on the auxesis of