Page:Letters of a Javanese princess, by Raden Adjeng Kartini, 1921.djvu/52

LETTERS OF A JAVANESE PRINCESS the murmuring pure silver tones on high, on high, to the isles of blue light, to the fleecy clouds, and towards the shining stars — deep low tones are rising now and the music leads me through dark dales, down steep ravines, through sombre woods on into dense wildernesses, and my soul shivers and trembles within me with anguish and pain and sorrow. I have heard "Ginonding" a dozen times, still now that the gamelan is silent I cannot recall a single note, everything is driven from my memory, the sad and lovely air is gone that made me so inexpressibly happy, and so deeply melancholy at the same time. I can never near "Ginonding" without deep emotion, the first chords of the splendid pre- lude, and I am lost. Sometimes I do not wish to listen, it is too sor- rowful, yet I must hearken to the murmuring voices, which tell me of the past, and of the future. The breath of its thrilling silver strains blows away the veil which covers the secrets of what is to be, and clear as though it were today visions of the future rise to my mind. A shivering goes through me, for I see dark sombre figures. I try to close my eyes, but they remain wide open, and at my feet there yawns a dizzy abyss. But I look up, and a blue Heaven arches above me, and golden sun-beams play with the fleecy white clouds, and in my heart it is again light. There! Have I not convinced you what a foolish, mad creature I am? What silly thoughts, but we will not excuse ourselves to each other, Stella. Enough of that! I will now try to talk sensibly like a rational human being. My sunny land which you so long to see, has been of late anything but sunny. There have been terrible rainstorms every day, and Sun- day the Japara river rose from its banks, villages were flooded, and even the city itself was inundated by the rushing waters. —30—