Page:Letters of Mlle. de Lespinasse.djvu/63

48 the letter I did not receive ; why look for it in M. Thomas ? I could not find it there ! Did you not promise me news from Strasburg ? Are you surprised now that you pledged yourself to write to me so often ? Have you regretted the facility with which you yielded to the interest and eager- ness shown to you ? It. is troublesome at a distance of three hundred leagues to have to act for others ; there is no pleasure except in following one's own impulse and senti- ment. See how generous I am ! I offer to return your promise if you now find you have made a mistake. Acknowl- edge it to me, and I assure you I will not be wounded. Be- lieve me, it is only vanity that makes people touchy, and I have none ; I am merely a good creature, very stupid, very simple, who loves the happiness and pleasure of those I love better than what is mine or for me. Having that knowledge, be at your ease; write to me "un peu, beaucoup, pas du tout" — but do not fancy that I shall be equally satisfied: for I have even less indifference than vanity. But I have a strength, or a faculty, which renders me able for all : it is that of knowing how to suffer, and to suffer much without complaint.

Adieu ; have you reached this point in my letter ? and is it not wearisome ?

Sunday, May 30, 1773.

I received, yesterday, your Strasburg letter; the time seemed very long since Wednesday, 19th, the day on which I received your last sign of remembrance ; that which came to me yesterday consoled me and did good to my soul, which needs to be diverted by the entrance of a gentle sentiment to which it can yield without trouble and without remorse. Yes, I can now avow it to myself, I can say it to you — I care for you tenderly ; your absence gives me keen regrets; but no longer have I to struggle against the feelings you in-