Page:Letters of Mlle. de Lespinasse.djvu/58



You start on Tuesday ; and as I know not the effect which your departure will have upon me, as I know not if I shall have freedom or wiU to write, I wish to speak with you once more and assure myself of receiving news of you from Strasburg. You must tell me if you arrive there in good health; if the movement of travelling has not already calmed your soul. Not that your soul is ill, it suffers only from the ills it causes ; and diversion, change of scene will suffice to turn aside those emotions of sympathy which may be painful to you because you are kind and honourable. Yes, you are very kind ; I have just re-read your letter of this morning ; it has the sweetness of Gestner joined to the energy of Jean-Jacques. Eh, mon Dieu! why unite all that can touch and please, and why, above all, offer me a blessing of which I am not worthy, which I have not deserved ?

No, no ! I do not want your friendship ; it would console me, it would agitate me, and I need rest ; I need to forget you for a time. I wish to be sincere with you and with myself ; and, in truth, in the trouble in which I am I fear to be mistaken ; perhaps my remorse is greater than my wrong-