Page:Letters of Mlle. de Lespinasse.djvu/40

Rh ''From Mine, la Marquise du Deffand to Mile, de Lespinasse. ''

Paris, February 13, 1754.

I am very glad, my queen, that you are satisfied with my letters and also with the course which you have taken towards M. d'Albon. I am convinced that he will resolve on securing you a pension; he would be stoned by every one if he did otherwise. In case he re- fuses, you obtain entire freedom to follow your own will, which I trust will bring you to live with me. But examine yourself well, my queen, and be very sure that you will not repent. In your last letter you wrote me very tender and flattering things ; but remember that you did not think the same only two or three months ago ; you then confessed to me that you were frightened at the dull life I made you foresee, — a life which, although you are accustomed to it, would be more intolerable in the midst of the great world than it has been in your seclusion ; you feared, you said, to fall into a state of discouragement, which would render you intolerable, and inspire me with disgust and repentance. Those were your expressions ; you thought them a fault which required my pardon, and you begged me to forget them ; but, my queen, it is not a fault to speak our thoughts, and explain our dispositions ; on the contrary, we can do nothing better. ... I shall treat you not only with politeness, but even with compliments before the world, to accustom it to the consideration it ought to have for you. ... I shall not have the air of seeking to introduce you ; I expect to make you desired ; and if you know me well, you need have no anxiety as to the manner in which I shall treat your self-love. But you must rely on the knowledge that I have of the world. . ..

There is a second point on which I must explain myself to you; it is that the slightest artifice, or even the most trifling little art, if you were to put it into your conduct, would be intolerable to me. I am naturally distrustful, and all those in whom I detect slyness become suspicious to me to the point of no longer feeling the slightest confidence in them. I have two intimate friends, Formont and d'Alembert; I love them passionately, but less for their agreeable charms and their friendship for me than for their absolute truthfulness. Therefore, you must, my queen, resolve to live with me with the utmost truth and sincerity, and never