Page:Letters of Mlle. de Lespinasse.djvu/155

136 time to ask me news of you ; he is busier, more dissipated, more in the suite of all the princes than ever. To-day he is in the country ; he will hear news of you there ; with tact and knowledge of the ways of the world a man is always in the tone and thought of those he is with. M. d'Alembert and all your friends speak to me often of you ; they address themselves to me to hear about you ; but it is I who must have recourse to them in future, must I not ? Ah ! mon Dieu ! how crazy passions are ! and how stupid I For the last fifteen days I feel the greatest horror at them. But I must also be just and admit that in adoring calmness and reason I scarcely exist ; I have strength to feel only my utter annihilation : my body, my soul, my head, all myself is in a state of exhaustion ; and that state is not very painful, although it is new to me.

Good-night, mon ami ; for though it is morning I have not yet slept. No one, I think, has thought of writing about sleep, about its influence on the mind and on the passions. Those who study nature ought not to neglect that interesting part of the life of the unhappy. Alas ! if they only knew how much the privation of sleep can add to other woes ! In approaching those who suffer, those who are unhappy, the first question asked should be, " Do you sleep ? " the second, " How old are you ? ", Begun Thursday, September 22, 1774. Mon ami, if I still had passion, your silence would kill me; and if I had only vanity it would wound me and I should hate you with all my strength. Well ! I live, and I hate you no longer. But I shall not conceal that I see with grief, though without astonishment, that it was my impulsion that led you on — you were forced to answer me. You do not know what to say to me now, when you believe that my feeling has ceased; you feel no regret, and you