Page:Letters of Mlle. de Lespinasse.djvu/108

1773] you. Mon ami, I liave no opium in my head, nor in my blood ; I have worse than that, I have that which would make me bless heaven and treasure life if he I love were inspired with the same emotion ; but alas ! what we love is made to be the torment, the despair of the soul that feels ? Good-bye ; I want to see you, you ought to come and dine with me at Mme. Geoffrin's. I dared not tell you so last night. Yes, you ought to love me passionately; I exact nothing; I pardon all; and I have never had an angry feeling, mon ami ; I am perfect, for I love you in perfection.

Four o'clock, 1773.

You have not started ; at least, I hope not. This is what I fancy you will have said to yourself : " The weather is dreadful; I will go to-morrow to the country, I will be driven there ; I will see her this afternoon ; I will go and spend the evening with Mme. de V . . ." Mon ami, if you can reason thus, M. d'Alembert will permit you to argue in future, and you will not be reduced to making or not making Conn^tables. Kacine would never have allowed any one to prevent him from writing his " Letters " on the Visionaries or his " History of Port-Eoyal." Here are the two volumes ; I warn you that if you lose them you will be lost in M. d'Alembert's opinion. Here is also Plutarch ; that is mine ; but, if it is all the same to you, I would rather it were not lost or torn.

I saw Mme. de M. . . at mass and spoke to her. Her face and figure satisfy the most fastidious and exacting taste ; but her tone, her manner, ah ! how repulsive they are ! Am I wrong? But her friend does not resemble her; yes, I believe this, and I even desire it ; is this feeling generous ? tell me.

No, you shall never know all that the ambassador wrote