Page:Letters from England.djvu/177

 probably why Englishmen have invented all games, and why they do not speak during their games. Their taciturnity is such that they do not even publicly abuse the Government, the trains or the taxes; on the whole, a joyless and reticent people. In the place of taverns, where one can sit, drink and talk, they have invented bars, where one can stand, drink and hold one’s peace. The more talkative people (like Lloyd George) take to politics, or to authorship; an English book must have at least four hundred pages.

It is perhaps through sheer taciturnity that the English swallow half of every word, and then the second half they somehow squash; so it is difficult to understand them. I used to travel every day to Ladbroke Grove; the conductor would come and I would say: “Ledbruk Grröv.” “?? Eh?” “Ledbhuk Ghöv!” “??? Eh?” “Hevhuv Hev!” “Aa, Hevhuv Hov!” The conductor would rejoice and give me a ticket to Ladbroke Grove. I shall never learn this as long as I live.