Page:Lessons In Search of Greatness.djvu/12

10 you must get down on your knees, and put your head between my legs.[Showing how.]

Jim and Miss S.—[Laugh.] Ha! ha! ha!.

S. P., Esq.—[Is now in a rage.] James, be silent, you worry me, and disturb the equilibrium of the madam!

Mrs. P.—[Amazed.] I have never had teeth pulled in that manner, and I don't like it!

S. P., Esq.—[Looks at Jim.] Jim, is this not the very latest style of extracting teeth?

Jim.—Yis, ma'am; Oh! yis—

Mrs. R.— But I cannot bend my back! [Tries to get down, but screams, which makes nervous.]

S. P., Esq.—[To ] Wait a moment. [Goes to ] You had better take a seat in the parlor until I have finished this little job!

Miss S.—As you please! [Exit.]

Mrs. P.—Doctor, I cannot get on my knees.

S. P., Esq.—Then you must lie down on the floor.

Mrs. P.—I actually don't like that, I never heard of such a manner of pulling teeth, and I dislike it very much.

S. P., Esq.—[In a rage.] Madam! we live in a progressive age, and whatever I do, I do in the latest style; I was born to be a great man, and great men are always original, and so long as you cannot bend your back and get on your knees, you will be compelled to lie straight on the floor on your back. Please let me assist you to go down! [Takes hold of her, and lets her quietly down.] Now, lie still, and I'll soon fix you! [Aside.] My Mars, I feel as if the spirit of William Stover, the stone-quarry man, was hovering over me; but I am born to rise in the world, and therefore I shall surmount all trifling obstacles! [''Gets forceps, feels the gums of the lady, after raising her head a little and putting it between his knees. To her.''] Madam, I find three or four snags, now open your mouth wide, and hold perfectly quiet until I have finished! [He now pulls, twists and screws with all his might.]

Mrs. P.—[Screams.] Murder! murder! [Faints.]

Mr. Sexton.—[Grasps by the hair and neck and jerks him into a corner.] Ruffian, you have murdered her!

S. P., Esq.—[Jumps upon a chair.] I am Simon Pure, Esq., the greatest man living, I was born great, and I do everything in the latest style! [Here he strikes a pugilistic attitude.] and want all you mean, low, rough looking working people to know, that I am not to be bluffed off by a lot of intruders like yourselves, so either get out of my office, or wait a moment when you will see a miracle performed!

Mrs. P.—[Groans.] Oh! O!

S. P., Esq.—[Aside.] She is coming to, and now is my time to swoon! [Goes off.] Oh! O, I feel faint! [Falls and faints.]

Miss S.—[Rushes in.] Goodness, what is the matter?

Mrs. P.—[Comes to entirely, looks around.] What does all this confusion mean? Where is Dr. Simon, Pure Esq? [Feels her