Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (3).pdf/4

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finding fault with the printing and paper of a Bible she was about to purchase, looked over he shoulder and said, that ‘ both were good enough for the subject.’—‘ O ye monster!’ exclaimed the woman; then turning round and observing his miserably meagure figure, added, ‘ And he’s an anatomy too!’

A West Indian, who had a remarkable fiery nose, having fallen asleep in his chair, a tiegro boy who was in waiting, observed a musquitto hovering round his face. Quashi eyed the insect very attentively ; at last he saw him alight on his master’s nose, and immediately fly off. ‘ Ah, d—n your heart,’ exclaimed the negro, ‘ Me d—n glad see you burn your foot.’

Some difference lately occurred between a corps of Volunteers and their Commandant. The regiment was ordered to appear before the in- specting General, and the Colonel of course gave the word of command, ‘ Attention! —Shoulder arms!’ not a muscle nor a musket moved. The command was repeated in a louder voice; the corps was still motionless. The general much surprised, beckoned to a sergeant, and asked, Why the corps refused to act ? An’t plaise your honour, says Pat, making the due obeisance, it is becays the Colonel and the regiment are not on spaiking terms.

During the high price of coals, a gentleman meeting his coal merchant, inquired whether it was proper to lay in a stock. The knight of the black diamond shook his head, observing, Coals