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disputed it pro and con. At last, one of them said to Graham of Kinross, (wha hadna yoked wi’ them in the argument,) ‘ Laird, what’s your opinion ?’ Quo’ he, ‘ I hae had tliree lads and three lasses; I watna whilk o’ them I liked best sae lang as they suckit their mither; but de’il hae my share o’ the callants, when they came to suck their father.

A tar having gone into the pit of Drurylane theatres, recognised one of his messmates aloft, among the gods: ' Pray, Jack, what did it cost you to get into that d—n’d snug birth ?’ On being informed that he gave only a shilling:— ‘ D—mme, this is fine business, I gave five shil- lings to get stowed into this here hold.

A Highlander having gone with his master into the church of Notre-Dame at Paris, to hear high mass, was very much delighted with the magni- ficence of the edifice, the splendour of the clergy- men’s dresses, and the divine harmony of the music. On leaving church, his master asked him how he liked the performance ? ‘ Oh, Sir, ’twas wondrous fine,’ replied Donald, ‘ God is served here like a shentleman; but in my country (with reverence be it spoken,) he is treated little better than a scoundrel.’

An Irishman, some time ago, attending the University of Glasgow, waited upon one of the most celebrated teachers of the German flute, , desiring to know on what terms he would give him a few lessens: the flute player informed him, that he generally charged two guineas for the

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