Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (2).pdf/9

 terms, the punishment that awaited the wicked in a future world; observing, that they would be cast into a place of utter darkness, where there would be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Let them gnash that have teeth, cries an old woman a corner of the church, for my part, I have had none these thirty years.

Donald M'Gregor, a notorionsnotorious [sic] sheep-lifter (alias sheep-stealer,) in the north Highlands, being at last overtaken by the grim tyrant of the human race, was visited by the minister of the parish, whose appearance, however, was by no means agreeable to Donald. The holy man warmly exhorted the dying Highlander to reflect upon the long and black catalogue of his sins, before it was too late, otherwise he would have a tremendous account to give at the great day of retribution, when all the crimes he had committed in this world would appear in dreadful array, as evidence of his guilt.—Och! Sir, cries the dying man, and will a' the sheeps, the cows, and ilka thing Donald has help herself to be there. Undoubtedly, replied the parson.—Then let ilka shentleman tak' her nain, and Donald will be an honest man again.

George the second being once at a masquerade, he observed Miss Chudleigh in a habit which very closely bordered upon the naked; "My dear lady," said the good-natured monarch, "Suffer me to put my hand upon that soft bosom."—'Sire,' said she, 'give me your hand, and I will put it on a much softer place'. She took his right hand, and put it on his own fore-head.