Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (2).pdf/7

 you be so good in future as to write drunk, when you make free.

A young lady going into a barrack room at Fort George, saw an officer toasting a slice of bread on the point of his sword. On which she exclaimed, I think, Sir, you have got the staff of life on the point of death.

A physician seeing Charles Bannister about to drink a glass of brandy, said, Don't drink that filthy stuff; brandy is the worst enemy you have. I know that, replied Charles, but you know, we are commanded by scripture to love our enemies.

Dean Jaskson passing one morning through Christ-Church quadrangle, met some under graduates, who walked along without capping. The Dean called one of them, and asked, Do you know who I am? No, Sir, How long have you been in College? Eight days, Sir.—Oh, very well, said the Dean, walking away, puppies don't open their eyes till the ninth day.

Whilst the immortal Garrick was one night performing the part of Hamlet, (a character in which that inimitable actor displayed an exquisite knowledge of nature,) and when he was arrived at one of the most affecting scenes in that tragedy the audience all mute attention,—when even a pin might have been heard falling to the ground, all at once, to the astonishment of the spectators, Garrick was seen to burst out into a violent fit of laughter, and run suddenly off the stage: In a moment all the players followed him. The audi-