Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (2).pdf/4

 finding fault with the printing and paper of a Bible she was about to purchase, looked over her shoulder and said, that "both were good enough for the subject." —'O ye monster!' exclaimed the woman; then turning round and observing his miserably meagre figure, added, 'And he's an anatomy too!'

A West Indian, who had a remarkably fiery nose, having fallen asleep in his chair, a negro boy who was in waiting, observed a musquitto hovering round his face. Quashi eyed the insect very attentively: at last he saw him alight on his master's nose, and immediately fly off. 'Ah, d—n your heart,' exclaimed the negro, 'Me d—n glad see you burn you foot.'

Some differences lately occurred between a corps of Volunteers and their Commandant. The regiment was ordered to appear before the inspecting General, and the Colonel of course gave the word of command. "Attention!'—Shoulder arms! not a muscle nor a musket moved. The command was repeated in a louder voice; the corps was still motionless. The General much surprised, back to a sergeant, and asked Why the cops refused to act? An't plaise your honour, says Pat, making the due obeisance, it is becaus the Colonel and the regiment are not on spaiking terms

During the high price of coals, a gentleman meeting his coal merchant, inquired whether it was proper to lay in a stock. The knight of the black diamond shook his head, observing, Coals