Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (2).pdf/20

 A preacher in Arabia having for his text a portion of the Koran, I have called Noah, after twice repeating his text, made a long pause: an Arab then present, thinking that he was waiting for an answer, exclaimed, If Noah will not come, what hinders you from calling somebody else.

Two Oxford scholars meeting on the road with a Yorkshire ostler, they fell to bantering him, and told the fellow that they would prove him to be a horse or an ass. Well, said the ostler, and I can prove your saddle to be a mule;—A mule! cried one of them, how can that be?— Because, said the ostler, it is something between a horse and an ass.

A culprit asked Jack Ketch if he had any commands to the other world. Why, said Jack, not many; I'll only, added he, as he adjusted the knot under his left ear, just trouble you with a line.

A parson in the country, taking his text in St. Matthew, chap. viii. verse 14. And Peter's wife's mother lay sick of a fever, preached for three Sundays together on the same subject.—Soon after two fellows going across the churchyard, and hearing the bell toll, one asked the other who it was for? Nay, I can't tell; perhaps, replied he, It is for Peter's wife's mother, for she has been sick of a fever these three weeks.

A gentleman lying on his death-bed, called to his coachman, who had been an old servant, and said, Ah, Tom, I am going a long and rugged