Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (2).pdf/19

19 fare you well, my dear little fellow, rejoined Paddy, for I shall never see you more.

A countryman seeing a lady in the street in a very odd dress, as he thought, begged of her to tell him what she called it. The lady, a little surprised at the question, called him an impertinent fellow. Nay, I hope no offence, madam, said Hodge, I am a poor countryman, just going out of town, and my wife always expects I should bring her an account of the newest fashion, which occasioned my inquiring what you call this that you wear.—It is a sack, said she, in a great pet. I have heard, said the countryman, of a pig in a poke, but I never before saw a sow in a sack.

A soldier being to be sent on the late Spanish expedition, said to the officer directing the drafts, Sir, I cannot go because I—I—stut-ter.—Stutter! says the officer, you don't go to talk but to fight.—Ay, but they'll p-p-put me on g-g-guard, and a man may go ha-ha-half a mile, before I can say, wh-who-who goes there? Oh, that's no objection, for there will be another sentry placed along with you, and he can challenge if you can fire.—Well, b-b-but I may be taken, and run through the g-g-guts, before I can cry qu-qu-quarter.

An Irishman, telling his friend, that passing along the street, he saw a person on the other side, with whom he thought he was acquainted, said, I crossed to see him, I thought I knew him, and he thought he knew me; but by Jasus, my honey, it was neither one nor t'other of us.