Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (2).pdf/18

18 stealing a gun, hearing this successful defence, prevailed on a fellow countryman of his, to swear that he remembered the gun in his possession ever since it was a pistol.

When the celebrated beau Nash was ill, Dr. Cheyne wrote a prescription for him. The next day, the Doctor coming to see his patient, inquired if he had followed his prescription? No faith, said Nash, if I had I should have broke my neck, for I threw it out of a two pair of stairs' window.

An Irish gentleman was visited by a friend, who found him a little ruffled; and being asked the reason of it, said, he had lost a new pair of black silk stockings out of his room, that had cost him eighteen shillings; but that he hoped he should get them again, for that he had ordered them to be cried, and had offered half-a-crown of reward. The gentleman observed, that the reward was far too little for such valuable stockings. Pho, said the Irish gentleman, I ordered the cryer to say they were wrosted.

One saying to another, you speak foolishly, he answered, It is that you may understand me.

A military officer of diminutive stature, was drilling a tall Irish recruit. Hold up your head, said the officer, elevating the chin of the Irishman with the end of his cane, to an angle of nearly forty degrees, hold up your head so.—And must I always do so, captain? asked the recruit. Yes, always, answered the officer. Then