Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (2).pdf/17

17 these were all bibles? No, Sir, answered one of the clerks, they are testaments.

A countryman very much marked with the small pox, applied to a justice of peace for redress in an affair where one of his neighbours had ill-treated him; but not explaining the business so clearly as the justice expected, fellow, said he in a rage, I don't know whether you were inocculated for the small pox or not, but I am sure you have been for stupidity.—Why, ant please you, replied the man, perhaps I might, as you say, be inoculated for stupidity, but there was no occasion to perform that on your worship, for you seem to have had it in the natural way.

Two country attornies, overtaking a waggoner on the road, and thinking to be witty upon him, asked, why his fore horse was so fat, and the rest so lean? The waggoner knowing them, answered, that his fore horse was a lawyer, and the rest were his clients.

An Irishman, a short time since, bade an extraordinary price for an alarm clock, and gave as a reason, that, as he loved to rise early, he had now nothing to do but pull the string, and he would wake himself.

A countryman, at Burry assizes, was indicted and arraigned for stealing a goose; but the accusation was false, for he brought a neighbour of his, who sware positively, that he remembered that very goose in his possession ever since it was a gosling. An Irishman, who was a prisoner for