Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (2).pdf/14

14 what you mean by plaintiff or defendant, I come to speak for that there! pointing to the prisoner. You are a pretty fellow for a witness (says the counsel) not to know what plaintiff or defendant means! Some time after, being asked by the same counsel, what part of the ship he was in at the time? Abaft the binnacle, my lord, says the sailor. Abaft the binnacle! (replied the barrister) what part of the ship is that? Ha! ha! ha! (chuckled the sailor) are not you a pretty fellow of a counsellor (pointing to him archly with his finger) not to know where abaft the binnacle is!

A clergyman, who wished to know whether the children of the parishioners understood their bibles, asked a lad that he one day found reading the Old Testament, who was the wickedest man? Moses to be sure, said the boy.—Moses, (exclaimed the parson) Moses! how can that be?—Why, (said the lad,) he broke all the commandments at once!

A little lawyer appearing as evidence in one of the courts, was asked by a gigantic counsellor, what profession he was of; and having replied, that he was an attorney. You a lawyer! (said Brief,) why I could put you in my pocket. Very likely you may, (rejoined the other) and if you do, you will have more law in your pocket than in your head.

Colonel M of the Pshire cavalry, was lately complaining, that, from the ignorance and inattention of his officers, he was obliged to do the whole duty of the regiment. I am, (said