Page:Laugh and grow fat, or, The comical budget of wit (2).pdf/12

12 disputed it pro and con. At last, one of them said to Graham of Kinross, (wha had na yoked wi' them in the argument,) 'Laird, what's your opinion?' Quo he, 'I hae had three lads and three lasses; I watna whilk o' them I liked best sae lang as they suckit their mither; but de'il hae my share o' the callants, when they came to suck their father.

A tar having gone into the pit of Drury-lane theatre, recognised one of his messmates aloft, among the gods: 'Pray, Jack, what did it cost you to get into that d—n'd snug birth? On being informed that he gave only a shilling:—"D—mme, this is fine business. I gave five shillings to get stowed into this here hold.

A Highlander having gone with his master into the church of Notre-Dame at Paris to hear high mass, was very much delighted with the magnificence of the edifice, the splendour of the clergymen's dresses, and the divine harmony of the music. On leaving church, his master asked him how he liked the performance? Oh, Sir, 'twas wondrous fine,' replied Donald, 'God is served here like a shentleman; but in my country (with reverence be it spoken,) he is treated little better than a scoundrel.'

An Irishman, some years ago, attending the University of Glasgow, waited upon one of the most celebrated teachers of the German flute, desiring to know on what terms he would give him a few lessons: the flute player informed him, that he generally charged two guineas for the