Page:Karel Čapek - The Absolute at Large (1927).djvu/163

 "our churches are empty, our flock is running after the Absolute. Jost, you blockhead, if we wish to bring our flock back to us, we must secure the Absolute. We will set up Atomic Karburators in all our churches but that, my little priest, is above your head. Bear in mind this one thing: the Absolute must work for us; He must be ours, i.e. He must be ours alone. Capiscis, mi fili?"

"Capisco," whispered Father Jost.

"Deo gratias! Now, friend Jost, now shall Saul become Paul. You'll write a nice little leading article in which you will make it known that the Sacred Congregation, taking cognizance of the petitions of the faithful, has admitted the Absolute into the bosom of the Church. Mr. Novotny, here is the Apostolic Letter to that effect; have it set up in large bold type on the front page of the paper. Kostal, announce among the local news items that Mr. G. H. Bondy will on Sunday next receive the sacrament of baptism at the hands of the Archbishop, and add a few words of hearty welcome, of course, you understand? And you, Jost, sit down and write Wait a minute; we want something really striking to lead off with."

"We might say something after this style, my lord: "The criminal narrow-mindedness and the perverse malignity of certain bodies "

"Splendid! Then say: 'The criminal