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 250 Anecdotes.

��not make a farce of thanking God for a dinner which in a few minutes you will protest not eatable.'

When any disputes arose between our married acquaintance however, Mr. Johnson always sided with the husband, * whom (he said) the woman had probably provoked so often, she scarce knew when or how she had disobliged him first. Women (says Dr. Johnson) give great offence by a contemptuous spirit of non- compliance on petty occasions. The man calls his wife to walk with him in the shade, and she feels a strange desire just at that moment to sit in the sun : he offers to read her a play, or sing her a song, and she calls the children in to disturb them, or advises him to seize that opportunity of settling the family accounts. Twenty such tricks will the faithfullest wife in the world not refuse to play, and then look astonished when the fellow fetches in a mistress 1. Boarding-schools were estab lished (continued he) for the conjugal quiet of the parents: the two partners cannot agree which child to fondle, nor how to fondle them, so they put the young ones to school, and remove the cause of contention. The little girl pokes her head 2, the mother reproves her sharply : Do not mind your mamma, says the father, my dear, but do your own way. The mother complains to me of this: Madam (said I), your husband is right all the while ; he is with you but two hours of the day perhaps, and then you teize him by making the child cry. Are not ten hours enough for tuition ? And are the hours of pleasure so frequent in life, that

1 'Johnson used to say that in not been negligent of pleasing.' Life,

all family disputes the odds were ii. 56.

in favour of the husband from his ' Sae, whensoe'er they slight their

superior knowledge of life and man- maiks * at hame,

ners.' Johnson's Works (1787), xi. 'Tis ten to ane their wives are

210. maist to blame.'

Talking to Boswell he said : Allan Ramsay's Gentle Shepherd,

( A wife should study to reclaim her Act i. sc. 2.

husband by more attention to please 2 The only definition given by

him. Sir, a man will not, once in Johnson of poke is 'to feel in the

a hundred instances, leave his wife dark ; to search anything with a

and go to a harlot, if his wife has long instrument.'

1 Mates.

when

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