Page:John Falkirk's cariches (4).pdf/14

 14

come from the south amongst us, where swearing is practised in its true gramma- tical perfection ! Hot oaths, new struck, with as bright a lustre as a new quarter guinea, just come from the Mint.

Q. How will ye know the bones of a a mason’s mare at the back of a dyke, amongst the bones of a hundred dead horses lying in the same place?

A. Because it is made of wood.

Q. Which are the two things not to be spared, but not abused ?

A. A soldiers coat, and a hired horse.

Q. How is a man in debt, like a no- bleman ?

A. Because he has many to wait on and call for him ?

Q. How is swearing like a shabby coat ?

A. Because it is a bad habit.

Q. How is a bad pen like a wicked and profligate man ?

A. Because it wants mending.

Q. Why is a Church-bell like a story that is handed about ?

A. Because it is often toll’d.

Q. What is a man like, that is in the midst of a river, and cannot swim ?

A. He is like to be drowned.

Q. Why is a drawn tooth like a thing that is forgot ?