Page:John Falkirk's cariches (3).pdf/12

 vain, giddy-headed and airy, and not so obedient as the children of former years?

A. Because they are brought up and educated after a more haughty strain, by reading fables, plays, novels, and romances; gospel books, such as the Psalm-book, Proverbs, and Catechisms, are like old almanacks; there is nothing in vogue but fiddle, fute, Troy and Babylonish tunes; our plain English speech is corrupted with beauish eants, such as dont, wont, nen, and ken; a jargon worse than the Yorkshire dialect or the Hottentot gibberish.

Q. Why is swearing become so common among Scotch people?

A. Because so many lofty teachers came from the south amongst us, where swearing is practised in its true grammatical perfection! Hot oaths, new struck, hath as bright a lustre as a new quarter guinea just come from the mint.

Q. How will you know the bones of a mason's mare at the back of a dyke, amongst the bones of a hundred dead horses lying in the same place?

A. Because it is made of wood.

Q. What are the two things not to be spared, but not to be abused?

A. A soldier's coat and a hired horse.

Q. How is a man in debt like a nobleman?