Page:John Falkirk's cariches (2).pdf/12

12 vain, giddy-headed and airy, and not so obedient as the children of former years ? A. Because they are brought up and edneat- ed after a more haughty strain, by reading fables, plays, novels, and romances; gospel books, such as the Psalm-book, Proverbs, and Catechisms, are like old almanacks; there is nothing in vo- gue but fiddle, flute, Troy and Babylonish tunes; our plain English speech is corrupted with beanish cants, such as dont; wont, nen, and ken; a jargon worse than the Yorkshire dialect or the Hottentot gibberish. Q. Why is swearing become so common a- mong Scotch people ? A. Because so many lofty teachers came from the south amongst us, where swearing is practised in its true grammatical perfection! Hot oaths, new struck, hath as bright a lustre as a new quarter guinea just come from the mint. Q. How will you know the bones of a mason's mare at the back of a dyke, amongst the bones of a hundred dead horses lying in the same place ? A. Because it is made of wood. Q. What are the two things not to be spared, but not to be abused ? A. A soldier's coat and a hired horse. Q. How is a man in debt like a nobleman ?