Page:John Falkirk's cariches (1).pdf/3



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Q What is the most effectual cure and infallible remedy for a scolding wife?

A. The only cure is to get out of the hearing of her: but the infallible remedy is to nail her tongue to a growing tree, in the beginning of a cold winter-night, and so let it stand till sun-rising next morning, then she'll become one of the peace blest women that ever lay by a                   man's side.

Q. What time of the year is it that there are most holes open?

A. In harvest when there are stubbles.

Q. What times is a cow heaviest?

A. When the bull's bull's on her back.

Q. Who was the goodman's muckle cow's calf's mother?

A. The muckle cow herself.

Q. What is the likeliest thing to a man on a horse?

A. A Tailor on a mare.