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Q. Why is swearing become so com- mon among Scotch people?

A. Because so many lofty teachers come from the south amongst us, where swearing is practised in its true gram- matical perfection! Hot oath, new struck, with as bright a lustre as a new quarter guinea, just come from the Mint.

Q. How will you know the bones of                       a mason's mare at the back of a dyke, amongst the bones of a hundred dead horses lying in the same place?

A. Because it is made of wood.

Q. Which are the two things not to                       be spared, but not abused? ''À. A'' soldiers coat and a hired horse.

Q. How is a man in debt like a no- bleman?

A. Because he has many to wait on                       and call for him.

Q. How is swearing like a shabby coat?

A. Because it is a bad habit.

Q. How is bad pen liked a wicked and profligate man?