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 JOE MILLER

A thief being brought to Tyburn to be executed, the ordinary of Newgate, in taking his last confession, asked him if he was not sorry for having committed the robbery for which he was going to suffer? The criminal answered, yes, but that he was more sorry for not having stolen enough to bribe the jury.

A couple of sweeps, having occasion to pass the new bridge at Manchester, unluckily could muster only a single halfpenny between them. How to raise the other halfpenny to pay the toll they knew not, till one of them proposed to toss for which should carry the other over. This was done-one was instantly crammed into the bag, and lugged over on the shoulders of the other as a burden of soot.

A Jew, who was condenmed to be hanged, was brought to the gallows, and was just on the point of being turned off, when a reprieve arrived. Moses was informed of this, and it was expected he would instantly have quitted the cart, but he staid to see his fellow-travellers hanged ; and being asked why he did not get about his business, he said, he waited to see if he could bargain with Maisther Keteh for the two gentlemen's clothes.

An Hibernian schoolmaster, settled in a village near London, who advertised that he intended to keep a Sunday school twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursday, reminds us of the mock mayor of a place in the west, who declared on his election that he was resolved to hold his Quarter Sessions monthly.

When Sir Elijah Impey was on his passage from India, as he was one day walking the deck, it having blowed pretty hard the preceding day, a shark was playing by the ship. Having never seen such an object before, he called to one of the sailors to tell him what it was, Why, replied the tar, I don't know why what name they know 'em on shore, but here we call'em sea lawyers.

Louis XIV., playing at backgammon, had a doubtful throw, a dispute arose, and the surrounding courtiers all remained silent. The Count de Grammont happened to come in at that instant. Decide the matter, said the king to him. Sire, said the count, your majesty is in the wrong. How ! replied the king, can you thus decide, without knowing the question ? Because, said the count, had the matter been doubtful, all these gentlemen present would have given it for your majesty.

A felon who was just on the point of being turned off, asked the hangman, if he had any message to send to the place where he was going? I will trouble you with a line, replied the finisher of the law, placing the cord under his left ear.