Page:Joe Miller's new jest book.pdf/5

 JOE MILLER.

A gentleman on circuit narrating to Lord Norbury some extravagant fcat in sporting, mentioned that he had lately lot thirty-three hares before breakfast. Thirty-three hairs! proclaimed his lordship; sounds, sir, then you must have been ing at a wig.

A witty knave going into a lace-shop upon Ludgate hill, said he had occasion for a small quantity of very fine lace.d having pitched upon that he liked, asked the woman of shop what she would have for as much as could reach am one of his cars to the other, and measure which way e pleased, either over his liead or under his chin. After ne words, they agreed, and lie paid the money down, and gan to measure, saying, one of my cars is here, and the ier is nailed to a pillory in Bristol, therefore I fear you ve not enough to make good your bargain; however. T II take this piece in part, and desire you will provide the t with all expedition. Sir Jolm Stuart Hamilton, lounging one day in Dalby's peolate-house, when, after a long drought, there fell a tor- it of rain; a eountry gentleman observed, this is a most aightful rain; I hope it will bring up every thing out of ground. By Jove, sir, said Sir John, I hope not, for I we sowed three wives in it, and I should be very sorry to them come up again. Pray, Mr. Abernethy, what is the cure for gout? asked an Colent and luxurious citizen. Live upon sixpence a dáy, bi carn it! was the pithy answer. A friend was complaining to Colman that he should be iged to change luis tailor, as he found that a suit of clothes juld not last him above one half of the time that it ought do; and inquired if he could reconimend hivi any place miere he could meet with apparel more durable. Yes, said Iman, I could recommend you to Chaneery, and there you fly have a suit that will last you your life. in Irish gentleman going to the Post-Olliee, inquired if re were any letters for liin? Your name, sir, said the elerk. ere is a good one, now, said the Hibernian ; why! won't see it on the back of the letter, Mother Hopkins told me, that she heard Green's wife say St John Glarrie's wife told her, that granny Hopkins heard widow Bashan say, that Captain Weed's wife thought onel Hodkin's wife believed that old Miss Lamb reckoned At Samual Dunham's wife had told Spalding's wife that heard Jolin Frainks say, that her mother told her, old s Jenks heard granny Cook say, that it was a matter of ts!!-American Puper.