Page:Joe Miller's jests (1).pdf/9



( 9 ) then an impertinent crown piece was as impudent as his half brother had been, and again interupted the tale, ſo that taking up a handful of ſilver, he cried, Here Jack, give me a handful when your ſhip is paid off, what a pox ſignifies counting of it.

A very humourous countryman having bought a barn in partnerſhip with a neighbour of his, neglected to make the leaſt uſe of it, while the other had plentifully ſtored his part with corn and hay. In a little time the latter came to him, and conſcientiouſly expoſtulated with him about laying out his money to ſo little purpoſe. Why, neighbour, ſaid he, pray never trouble your head, you may do what you will with your part of the barn, but I will ſet mine on fire.

A gentleman aſked Nancy Rochford, Why the Whigs in their mourning for Queen Ann wore ſilk ſtockings ? Said ſhe, becauſe the Tories were worſted.

The famous Tom Thynne, who was remarkable for his good houſekeeping and hoſpitality, ſtanding one at gate in the country, a begger came up to him, and craved a mug of ſmall beer. Why how now, ſaid he, what times are theſe, when beggars muſt be chooſers I ſay bring this fellow a mug of ſtrong beer.

Some gentlemen going into a bawdy houſe tavern at Charing Croſs, found a great deal of fault with the houſe, and the wine, and ſending for the maſter, told him it was ſad ſtuff, and very weak, it may be ſo, ſaid he, for my trade does not depend on the ſtrength of my wine, but that of my tables and chairs.