Page:Joe Miller's jests (1).pdf/8

 ( 8 ) he to the ditcher, did thou not tell me that it was hard at the bottom? Aye, ſaid the ditcher, but you are not half way to the bottom yet.

An Engliſhman and a Welſhman diſputing in whoſe country was the beſt living : ſaid the Welſhman, there is ſuch noble houſekeeping in Wales, that I have known above a dozen cooks employed at one wedding dinner. Aye, replied the Engliſhman, that was becauſe every man toaſted his own cheeſe.

A perſon being near his end, a woman who lived in the neighbourhood ſent her maid to know how he did; he bid the girl tell her miſtreſſ he hoped he was going to the New Jeruſalem Ah! dear, ſaid ſhe, I think the air of Iſlington would do you more good.

A young lady who had been married but a ſhort time, ſeeing her huſband going to riſe pretty early in the morning, ſaid, What, my dear, are you getting up already ? pray lie a little longer, and reſt yourſelf No my dear, replied the huſband, I'll get up and reſt myſelf.

One loſing a bag of money of about fifty pounds, between the Temple Gate and Temple Bar, fixed up a paper, offering a reward to thoſe who took it and ſhould return it. Upon which the perſon that had it, came and wrote underneath it to the following effect : Sir, I thank you for the offered reward, but indeed you really bid me to my loſs.

One ſailor coming to ſee another on a payday, deſired to borrow twenty ſhillings of him. The monięd man fell to telling out the ſum in ſhillings, but a half crown thruſting in its head, put him out, and he began to tell again ; but