Page:Joe Miller's jests (1).pdf/7

 ( 7 ) the two ſhould father the child. He who had the wooden leg offered to decide it in the following manner: If the child, ſays he, comes into the world with a wooden leg, I will father it; if not, then it must be yours.

A gentleman who had been a ſhooting, brought home a ſmall bird with him, and having an Iriſh ſervant, he aſked him it he had ſhot that little bird ? Yes, he told him Arrah, by my ſhoul, honey, replied the Iriſhman, it was not worth the powder and ſhot, for this little thing would have died in the fall.

The fame Iriſhman being at a tavern, where the cook was dreſſing ſome carp, he obſerved that ſome of the fiſh moved, after they were gutted and put into the pan, which much ſurpriſed honeſt Teague. Well, now by my faith, ſaid he, of all the chriſtian creatures that ever I ſaw, this ſame carp will live the longeſt after it is dead.

A certain gentleman happening to turn up againſt a houſe to make water, did not ſee two young ladies looking out at a window cloſe by, until he heard them when he aſked them what made them ſo merry ? O, ſaid one of them, a little thing will make us laugh.

A young fellow riding down a ſteep hill, doubting the foot of it was boggiſh, called out to a clown that was ditching, and aſked if it was hard at the bottom ? Aye, anſwered the countryman, it is hard enough at the bottom, I will warrant you. But in half a dozen ſteps the horſe ſunk up to the ſaddle girths which made the young gallant whip, fpar, curſe, and ſwear. Why, you whoreſon of a raſcal, ſaid