Page:Joe Miller's jests (1).pdf/4

 ( 4 ) commanded to take a garter from one of them; but ſhe, as ſoon as he laid hold of her petticoat, ran away into the next room, where was a bed : Now, madam, ſaid he, I bar ſqeaking, Bar the door, ſaid ſhe.

An Iriſh lawyer of the temple having occaſion to go to dinner, left this direction in the key hole, Gone to the Elephant and Caſtle, where you will find me, and if you cannot read this, carry it to the ſtationer's, and he will read it for you.

Two Oxford ſcholars meeting on the road with a Yorkſhire oſtler, they fell to bantering him: and told him, That they would prove him to be an horſe or an aſs Well, ſaid the oſtler. I can prove your ſaddle to be a mule. A mule, ſaid one of them, how can that be? Becauſe, ſaid the oſtler, it is ſomething between a horſe and an aſs.

An Engliſh gentleman happening to be in Brecknockſhire, uſed ſometimes to divert himſelf with ſhooting, but being ſuſpected not being qualified, was ſent for by one of the little Welſh Juſtices. His Worſhip told him, unleſſ he could produce his qualification, he ſhould not allow him to ſhoot there, and he had too little manors. Yes, ſir, ſaid the gentleman, any one may perceive that. Perceive what cried the Welſhman. That you have too little manners, cried the other.

The chaplain's boy of a man of war, being ſent out of his own ſhip on an errand to another, the boys were conferring notes about their manner of living. How often do you go to prayers now: Why, anſwered the other,