Page:Joe Miller's jests (1).pdf/13

 (13) have all his eſtates to fools and madmen? having aſked the reaſon for ſo doing, he anſwered, From ſuch I had them, and to ſuch I give them again.

An Iriſh gentleman being with ſome ladies in a nobleman's garden, where was a large roller, told them. he thought it was the largest iron rolling ſtone that he ever ſaw.

Two Iriſhmen having travelled on foot from Cheſter to Barnet, were much tired and fatigued with their journey and the more fo, when hey were told that they had ſtill ten miles to London. By my ſhoal and St Patrick, cries one of them, it is but five miles a piece, let's s'en walk on.

Gun Jones, who made a handſome fortune from a very mean beginning, happening to have ſome words with a perſon who had known him for ſome time, was aſked by the other, how he could have the impudence to give himſelf ſo many airs to him, when he knew very well that he remembered him ſeven years ago, when he had hardly a rag to his arſe? You lie, arrah. replied Jones, for ſeven years ago I had nothing but rags to my arſe.

A traveller coming into the kitchen of an inn, in a very cold night. ſtood ſo cloſe to the fire, that he burnt his boots. An arch wag who ſat in the chimney corner, ſaid to him ſir you'll burn your fpnrs preſently. My boots you mean, I ſuppoſe, ſaid the gentleman No, ſir, replied the other, they are burnt already.

A great courtier for a long time having alone but daughters, his wife prayed very