Page:Joe Miller's jests (1).pdf/12



( 12 ) happened to meet with a ſtorm at ſea, the captain of the yacht ſaid to the chaplain, Doctor, in five minutes more we ſhall be with the Lord. the Lord forbid, anſwered the Doctor.

A taylor ſent his bill to a lawyer for money. The lawyer bid the boy tell his maſter, That he was not running away, but very buſy at that time. The boy comes again, and tells him he muſt needs have the money. Did you tell your maſter, ſaid the lawyer, that I was not running away. Yes, anſwered the boy, but he bid me tell you that he was.

One Iriſhman meeting another, aſked. What was become of their old acquaintance Patrick Murphy ? Arrah ? now, dear honey, anſwered the other, he was condemned to die, but he ſaved his life by dying in priſon.

One aſked his friend why he, being ſuch a proper man himſelf, had married ſo ſmall a wife? Why, friend, ſaid he, thought you had known that of evils we thould choſe the leaſt.

A gentleman having ſent for his carpenter's ſervant to knock a nail or two in his ſtudy, the fellow, after he had done it, ſaid' Sir, I hope you will give me ſomething to make me drink. There is pickle herring for you, ſaid the gentleman, and if that does not make you drink, I will give you another.

Two gentlemen, one named Chambers and the other Garret, riding by Tyburn, ſaid the firſt. This would be a pretty tenement if it had a garret. You fool, lays Garret, don't you know there muſt be chambers firſt.

A lawyer being ſick, made his will, and