Page:Joe Miller's jests (1).pdf/10

 ( 10 ) A profligate young nobleman being in company with ſome ſober people, deſired leave to toaſt the Devil. The gentleman who far next him, ſaid, he had no objection to any of his Lordſhip's particular friends.

A gentleman ſaid of a young wench who conſtantly plied about the Temple, that if ſhe had as much law in her head as ſhe had in her tail, ſhe would be one of the ableſt council in England.

À certain lady of quality ſending her Irish footman to fetch home a pair of new ſtays, ſtrictly charged him to take a coach if it rained, for fear of wetting them. But a great ſhower falling, the fellow returned with the ſtays dripping wet; and being ſeverely reprimanded for not doing as he was ordered, he ſaid he had obeyed his orders. How then, anſwered the lady, could the ſtays be wet if you took them into the coach with you? No, replied honeſt Teague, I know my place better, I did not get into the coach, but rode behind, as I always uſed to do.

Two honeſt gentlemen who dealt in brooms, meeting one day in the ſtreet, one aſked the other, how the devil he could afford to under ſell him as he did, when he ſtole the ſtuff, and made the brooms himſelf? Why you ſilly dog, replied the other, I ſteal them ready made.

A young gentlewoman who had married a wild spark that had run through a plentiful fortune, and was reduced unto ſtraits was innocently ſaying to him one day, My dear,