Page:Jealous man convinced that he is no cuckold, or, The way of the world represented.pdf/6

( 6 ) wenches, and a thouſand other ſnares and devices, have ruined me; but on the other hand, my dear, you muſt not lie in bed till noon, and riſe and drink coffee and tea; you muſt not ſpend the afternoon in fruitleſs vifits and goſſiping ſtories, tittle tattle, prittle prattle, chit chat from houſe to houſe, to the coſt of your neighbour's reputation, and my pocket, you know that tittle tattling, long tongue of yours, has got me thrice in the commiſſary's court, and five times in priſon already.

W. Weil, I find you have a mind to ſcold, and make me angry: If I lie in bed till noon, I ſpare a breakfaſt, and when I go to bed by day light, it ſaves fire and candles. If I had a mind to rip up old ſores, I could tell how the wench gave you a beck, to go to Nor. Bundiga, how you were ſitripp'd, for the reckoning, and ſporting in the garden of Venus, come home ſtung with nettles; but you had beſt not provoke me, no you had not.

H. For my part, I would not enrage, but adviſe you; you know, if a word paſſed between us, or ſo how would you take to your bed, pretend to be ill, and ſend to a Quack Doctor, to tell what ail'd you, who being as ignorant as yourſelf, of the cauſe, have joined iſſue with his knaviſh apothecary, and poiſon'd you with his flops, 'till they have made you ſick indeed!, at once robbing your health, and my purſe, fur deadly drugs, cover'd with damp names, which neither themſelves, nor any body elſe can underſtand, has draind my ſubſtance away, in right good earneſt.

W. Indeed every thing, that is laid out for the wife, is counted thrown away, but you forgot at the ſame time, what the lawyers have coſt you in wrangling, tho'e Salamanders, thát live in the ſcorching flames of their own kindling.

H. Not half ſo much as the curvy Taylors have coſt you in hoop petticoats, and other paultry faſhions, which your giddy ſex have cortriv'd of late,