Page:Jealous man convinced that he is no cuckold, or, The way of the world represented.pdf/5

( 5 ) ears, and conceits they are horns, when he has none: and which of theſe three am I my dear, it is beſt known to yourſelf

W. Well, good man Aſs, though your definition is pretty comical, yet it is not to the purpoſe; as I am not ready to make an appeal, that yourſelf alone knows whither you are a cuckold or not.

H. I told you before, if I was amiſs, I would be glad to be rectified by you.

W. Then you jealous booby, the word cuckold, comes from Cuckow, a bird ſo extraordinary cold, that philoſophers ſay, that ſhe can't hatch her young herſelf, therefore ſhe lay's them in other birds neſts, to bring them forth. Now, if ever you have done ſo in another mans bed, you are a cuckold, if not otherwiſe.

H. A dad wife, I can ſwear to the contrary, for I never did ſo in my life.

W. So, then, I hope for the future you will abandon all ſuch fooliſh thoughts, and reſt contented.

H I will, my dear, my beſt beloved wife,

And from my breaſt will baniſh care and ſtrife;

I'll know no bleſs but what lies in your charms,

And live and die encircled in your arms.

W. Hold huſband, that is not all.

H. Why, what is to be done now, loving wife?

W. But before we are thoroughly reconcild, you muſt promise to leave off drinking and gaming, and become a good huſband; why ſhould the landlady flouriſh in her rings and bravery, and laugh in her ſleeve at your folly? make her pot boil, when I am faſting at home, thatch her house, and leave your own uncovered? Pray let me know what ſatisfaction you will give me, for expoſing me in this manner:

H. Indeed I have gone aſtray hitherto, but it is time to reform. Their pleaſant looks, fine words, reliſhing bits, double chalks, frothy cans, wheedling