Page:Jay Little - Maybe—Tomorrow.pdf/33

 been dimmed and a million stars shot from a circular mirrored ball that revolved, spinning a fairy-like transformation over the crude walls and patched ceiling.

He no longer regretted the impulse that had brought him to the dance. The moving stars awoke memories of a thousand nights. He was a girl and dancing with Blake. The darkness felt clean and in Blake's strong arms he had a feeling of security. In them he could forget the crowd and still be a part of it. From the frightening terror that had descended upon him that first day of school, from the cruel remarks about his person, from the blows he had received, he had always crawled away within himself. But now, as he imagined himself in Blake's bronze arms, a feeling of being wanted had entered. The shyness had left. Ahead lay a bright future, a transcendental answer to all his suffering.

He sat on the wooden bench, lost in thought, not feeling its hardness; his soul filled with the dream that had come so often lately, and the mirrored stars swept silently across his child-like face. He closed his eyes and in the dream Blake took his hand and drew him close. He remembered the grin, how cute it was, how genuine. He made a wide circle of all those he knew and decided again that Blake was the only one. The pleasure, the sheer physical delight of their bodies touching, grew within him to such an extent that he wanted to stay in their protection forever; against this, like a warning knock, came the feeling of danger, a threatening danger lurking in fiendish eyes. Eyes that did not understand. As if the bronze arms had suddenly been taken from him and desiring to get them back, he flinched his eyes, a response to the sensation of peril. It was like a struggle against sleep, or the beginning of something terrible.

"Come on, beautiful … whataya sitting here all by your lonesome little self for? Let's dance, cutie."

The words were coarse and drawn together. They smelt of whiskey and the warm fresh air was suddenly contaminated with filth and germs. It surrounded him closer and closer until it choked him. And his beautiful dream was replaced by a dreadful anticipation. 23