Page:Jay Little - Maybe—Tomorrow.pdf/279

 She walked about the room in her night gown, pacing the floor like a tired caged animal. Then as she sat down on the bed again, wished she could erase the memory of the afternoon disturbing her mind. You little fool, she thought. You stupid little fool … She flung herself on the bed and cried. Cried like she had never cried before.

He came to her and brought the memory back. "How about some strawberries?"

She jerked her head up, looking around the room to see who had spoken. It had been so real. There was no one. Nothing but the dreariness that filled every corner, the utter bleakness of the morning sun. She was half blinded by the brilliant reflections that leaped before her watery eyes. She saw Gaylord's naked body and cried even harder … closing her eyes so that it would vanish but it remained deep within her …

She had been a victim of a willing rape to gratify an ancient craving; and now that she had tasted the sweetness of the marriage night, the craving was still there and not to be concealed.

She had sinned, there was no doubt about it, but she didn't care. The act would surely bring him back to her for she knew that men found in this act the keenest pleasure; and even if Gaylord was effeminate, he had proven to her, he was a man. She was certain he had loved the moment as much as herself; and he would come and seek her again; and they would lose all time and garments like they had done before.

She felt a great anguish wishing again for the thrilling bodily rapture that she had experienced; that exquisite mingling of pain and ecstasy; and her mind was capable of only one explanation for it: she, Joy Clay, must be depraved.

"I don't care," she said lying there … "I'm glad … so glad," she whispered. "He'll be back … they come back …"

She looked down at her bosom that showed plainly from behind the thin silk. She suddenly felt better, with the familiar odors of the room and the morning air. She dropped her hand from her breasts and settled back peacefully on the wide bed and waited. A little laugh escaped her parted lips. "Oh … Gay," she sighed, "you must love me … you simply must, my darling. I shall make you love me." 269