Page:Jay Little - Maybe—Tomorrow.pdf/238



THE CARELESS SLAM OF A DOWNSTAIRS door echoed dully in Gaylord's ear. He sat up abruptly and rubbed his eyes. What a shame, he thought with unreasonable despair. I wonder what would have happened next? Darn, Dad … wish he wouldn't get up so early … and when he does … wish he'd be a little quiet.

He had been dreaming the most wonderful dream … He looked at his watch, five minutes of seven, and sank back on the wrinkled pillow. He closed his eyes and tried to recapture the dream, but instead, Paul Boudreaux repeated words and sentences.

"There are thousands like you, Gay … You're not the only one, my dear, so don't let it upset you too much. This has been going on since the beginning of time and will probably continue for a long time to come … man loving man and woman, woman.

"No, dear, you're not a freak of nature … Far from that. You're a sweet flustered little boy, afraid to do the things that seem natural to you. But aren't we all just a little afraid? I know it's hard to feel free around a bunch of naked boys … God knows I felt the same way for years. I've gone through the same heartaches … we all do …

"Promise me one thing … One thing out of all I've said, remember this; whoever or whatever you love is beautiful, for love is beautiful. It depends on you, your words and actions, if it becomes ugly.

"Here in New Orleans you grow smart young. You're not a virgin very long here, and that goes for me too. I was brought out while very young. Would you believe it, I've never had sex with a 228