Page:Jay Little - Maybe—Tomorrow.pdf/166

 her you're sorry. Tell her that you think she's the sweetest girl you know. That's all she wanted to hear. After all, you were as much to blame as she … you did seduce her … and who were you thinking of all the time … you dirty, dirty, person … you evil silly boy. You're low, real low down … mean … what would Bob think of you if he knew … don't you know he loves her?" There was a witchlike creak, followed by a ghastly loud laugh. "That's how she'll get even with you … you stupid thing … Just what do you think Bob sees in you … Just because he was nice to you … played around a little with each other, do you think he's in love with you? He loves Joy … Joy … Joy …  …"

"No … . NO … NO …" Gaylord screamed, tears running down his cheeks. "He loves me … He's got to love me … I didn't want to do what I did … God knows I didn't … I didn't want to lie to her … I like her very much but I don't love her … I can't … Love … love … Oh, I love Bob … he can't love her … He loves me." The car echoed with his cries.

He was sobbing, clutching the wheel of his car and driving aimlessly. He listened to hear if the voice would answer, but instead, there was only the echo of vibrating moans around him.

Then, he was jealous of her. Jealous of the body she could offer Blake. What could he offer? Absolutely nothing except his love and that wouldn't be enough. He know this now, and he cried so desperately the road in front of him seemed a rippling lake.

"I must be crazy," he sobbed. "Oh, God! I'm so confused. Help me. Why am I so different … why? Why? Why? Why do I want Bob's arms around me … why do I want to feel his lips on mine … why am I so thrilled with his nearness? Why do I love him and not Joy … Don't take him from me, Joy … Please don't take him from me … I'm sorry … so sorry, Joy … forgive me … I'm so ashamed … I didn't want to hurt you … I didn't, really I didn't."

All the way home, he cried; kept seeing Blake and Joy in bed together, enlaced with their love-making.

As he turned into his driveway, the heavy stillness surrounding the dark house was gone. The lights from his car had awakened it from a restful snooze, and now it appeared alive … glad the 156