Page:Janet Clinker's oration, on the villanies of the old women, and the pride of the young.pdf/3

3 Fourthly, Concluding with an advice to young men and young women, how to avoid the buying of Janet Juniper’s stinking butter,❊ which will have a rotten rift on their stomach, as long as they live.

1. The first thing then I see and observe, is, That a wheen daft, giddy-headed, cock-nosed, juniper-nebbed mothers, bring up a wheen skyracket dancing daughters, a’ bred up to be ladies, without so much as the breadth of their loof of land! It’s an admiration to me, where the lairds are a’ to come frae, that’s to be coupled to them! Work! na, na, my bairn must not work, she’s to be a lady; they ca’ her Miss. I must have her ears bored, says old mumps, the mother. Thus the poor pet is brought up like a motherless lamb, or a parrot in a cage; they learn nothing, but to prick and sew, and fling their feet when the fiddle plays; so they become a parcel of yellow-faced female tailors, very unequal matches for countrymen; just Flanders babies, brought up in a box, and must be carried in a basket; knows nothing but pinching poverty, hunger, and pride; can neither milk kye, muck a byre, card, spin, nor yet keep a cow from a corn-rigg. The most of such are as blind penny-worths, as buying pigs in pocks, and ought only to be matched with tacket-makers, tree-trimmers, and male-taylors, that they may be male and female agreeable in trade, since their ❊ A nickname to the wife’s daughter that no man will marry, because stuffed full of laziness, self-conceit, and stinking pride; or, if she be married, she will lie like stinking butter on his stomach as long as he lives.