Page:Jane Austen (Sarah Fanny Malden 1889).djvu/217

 benevolent purpose was answered: you did contribute to her enjoyment.

"Even your last letter afforded pleasure. I merely cut the seal and gave it to her; she opened it and read it herself. Afterwards she gave it me to read, and then talked to me a little, and not uncheerfully, of its contents, but there was then a langour about her which prevented her taking the same interest in anything she had been used to do.

"Since Tuesday evening, when her complaint returned, there was a visible change, she slept more and much more comfortably; indeed, during the last eight and forty hours she was more asleep than awake. Her looks altered, and she fell away, but I perceived no material diminution of strength, and though I was then hopeless of a recovery, I had no suspicion how rapidly my loss was approaching.

"I have lost a treasure, such a sister, such a friend as never can have been surpassed. She was the sun of my life, the gilder of every pleasure, the soother of every sorrow; I had not a thought concealed from her, and feel as if I had lost a part of myself. I loved her only too well—not better than she deserved, but I am conscious that my affection for her made me sometimes unjust to and negligent of others; and I can acknowledge, more than as a general principle, the justice of the Hand which has struck this blow I thank God that I was enabled to attend her to the last; and amongst my many causes of self-reproach I have not to add any wilful neglect of her comfort.

"She felt herself to be dying about half an hour before she became tranquil and apparently unconscious. During that half hour was her struggle, poor soul! She said she could not tell us what she suffered, though